For those struggling with rest after the death of someone they love.
It’s not just about falling asleep.
It’s the quiet ache of being awake when the rest of the world is sleeping.
It’s the weight in your body that feels too heavy to move—and too restless to still.
Grief interrupts sleep in unexpected ways. And for many, the night becomes the hardest time.
Journaling, even for a few minutes, has been shown to lower intrusive thoughts and regulate emotion, especially after trauma and loss (Pennebaker & Smyth, 2016).
Table of Contents
☁️ Day 1: Give Your Sleeplessness a Voice
You might find yourself wide awake. Scrolling. Staring at the ceiling. Listening to every sound in the room.
Do Tonight: Journal, voice memo, or whisper your thoughts aloud without judgment.
“Insomnia after loss isn’t restlessness. It’s the mind needing time to understand.”
Journal Prompt:
“What’s keeping me awake right now? If I gave that feeling a name or a sentence, what would it be?”
🧶 Day 2: Create a Grief Nest
If the rest of your space feels too big or unsettling, let this be your beginning. Your bed can become your refuge.
Do Tonight:
- Gather pillows, blankets, or familiar textures
- Place something grounding nearby: photo, stone, candle
Optional Journal Prompt:
“What does safety mean for me tonight? What textures or objects bring me ease?”
✨ Day 3: Notice the Form of Grief
Grief appears in many forms. Silent Grief: numbness, detachment. Explosive Grief: tears, pacing, shouting. Both are valid.
Do Tonight: Observe your experience without judgment.
Journal Prompt:
“Tonight, my grief feels ___. I think it needs ___.”
Based on Bonanno, 2009
⛅️ Day 4: Move Your Grief Gently
Your body holds grief. Movement can help release its weight.
Do Tonight:
- Roll shoulders (5x)
- Tilt head gently
- Forward fold with soft knees
- Child’s Pose or lie on your side
- Place hands on chest or belly, and breathe
Optional Journal Prompt:
“Where in my body do I feel the weight of grief tonight? What might help it soften?”
Sources: Hardison et al., 2005; Worden, 2018
🍃 Day 5: Give Your Brain Rest
Sometimes the most healing thing is to pause emotional work and allow peace to enter.
Do Tonight:
- Watch a calming video
- Listen to nature sounds or a bedtime podcast
- Read something light or familiar
“Grief is not all sorrow. It’s also the pause between waves.”
Journal Prompt:
“What’s one small thing I enjoyed today, even for a second?”
💤 Day 6: Connect with Memory
Connection—real or imagined—can calm grief’s sharpest edges.
Do Tonight:
- Light a candle and say their name
- Place your hand on your heart
- Write or whisper what you miss
Breathing Practice:
Inhale: “Comfort in”
Exhale: “Loneliness out”
Journal Prompt:
“If I could say one thing to you tonight, it would be… And if I could imagine your reply, it might be…”
🌌 Day 7: Begin a New Ritual
Create a gentle rhythm to return to each night. Rituals ground us.
Do Tonight:
- Light a candle
- Write one sentence in a journal
- Sip warm tea
- Place a soft item by your bed
Journal Prompt:
“What tiny ritual might help me feel steady? What do I want to bring into my nights going forward?”
🌻 Rejoice (When It Comes)
Joy is not betrayal. Rest is not disloyalty. When healing comes in waves of laughter, sleep, or relief—you are allowed to receive it.
“There is no guilt in rest. No betrayal in joy. You are allowed both.”
❤️ When to Ask for Help
If sleep remains unreachable after several weeks, or your anxiety deepens, please reach out. Grief counselors, therapists, and peer groups exist to hold space for you.
🫳️ Share With Us
Have you experienced restless nights after loss? What helped you through it?
We’d be honored to hear your story. Leave a comment below.
Your words may be exactly what someone else needs tonight.
🔗 Sources
- American Psychological Association. (2020). Grief and Loss. https://www.apa.org/topics/grief
- Bonanno, G. A. (2009). The Other Side of Sadness. Basic Books.
- Hardison, H. G., Neimeyer, R. A., & Lichstein, K. L. (2005). Behavioral Sleep Medicine, 3(2), 99–111.
- Pennebaker, J. W., & Smyth, J. M. (2016). Opening Up by Writing It Down. Guilford Press.
- Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy (5th ed.). Springer.
- Tsuno, N., Besset, A., & Ritchie, K. (2005). The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 66(10), 1254–1269.
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